“Fashions fade style is eternal”– Yves Saint Laurent. If you’re anything like myself, you’ll understand how this quote can hit home. The longing struggles to understand and define what your style is. I swear whenever that question gets asked; I have NO CLUE what to say. It depends on the day, depends on my mood. I have always been someone who has struggled to define my style. Growing up and even as an adult it has been something that I have been trying to really determine and narrow down. In doing this, I have been searching and buying, oops, clothes and trying to understand what my style is.
I figured I should start with what style is, to me. Style to me is a reflection of who you are. It allows us to express who we are in clothing form. Mixing patterns, shoes, and everything to really paint a picture on the outside of just exactly who is on the inside. These last few years I have been working on myself, and so I feel that as I have been trying to find myself, I’ve been in search of my style as well.
The journey to finding myself, well really my confidence has not been easy. I have always struggled with accepting who I am, not because I don’t like who I am but more of fear of others not loving me. I have always felt that maybe I was not good enough or that whatever I have to say isn’t good enough- BTW IT IS, AND I AM. It has taken a long time to accept this with a lot of hard work. From conversations with family and friends to journaling. Check out my post on Anxiety to read more about that journey.
Growing up and even into adulthood, I have struggled, from knowing who I am and how I want to show that to the world. I have searched for validations in all the wrong places and hit a few dead ends here and there. This, in my opinion, has been reflected in a lot in my style. From dressing a certain way to “fit” in, to wear things that weren’t really who I was, but who I thought others wanted me to be. I used to think that the only way that you could have “style” was if people told you that you looked good. Where in reality it’s the opposite, the clothes don’t give you style, you give the clothes style.
I am no longer dressing to show off to people but rather show people who I am. I am not looking for people to compliment me, to validate that I have a style or boost my confidence. Confidence is not something others give to you, but more of what you provide to yourself. Now don’t get me wrong, everyone loves to hear they look good I know I do, it is just not the sole thing I rely on to feel good about who I am. It is sometimes still is a struggle to be okay, and from time to time I am not, especially when looking on social media.
Social media can be a fantastic place to gather inspiration, friendships and much more. It is also a place for self-doubt and criticism, we’re looking into a glimpse of someone else’s life that is “perfect” or “better”. I know we are all getting starting to show the “real” side of us on social media but, hope that you realize that life is messy, and we all struggle with small and big stuff. I hope that sharing parts of my life that I strive to help one of you.
I know “style” seems like a trivial thing to struggle with, but it is the bigger issue of being okay with who I am that is the issue. Not needing approval from others and having confidence, something that I know many of us to struggle with, is hard.
I want to be a strong, comfortable in her own skin kind of person who isn’t afraid to just be herself. While doing this, I’ve started to express it with my style. Taking more risks and having what I wear to be a mirror to what I am feeling.
Being okay with who I am has translated into my style. I’ve found that now if I like something and it is comfortable, I will buy it. I am expressing who I am, wearing clothes that show how I am feeling, or wanting to represent. Now I know I don’t need to hear it, but I still will get the approval of friends because let’s be honest here it is always nice to be told that you look lovely! Although I do like to hear it, it is not necessary for me to wear it or buy it because I know that I am indeed the only critic I need to impress.
A person’s style comes from within, a way to express just who you are, how you are feeling or anything in between. I love being able to have a little more confidence in doing this and show the world who I am through my outfits. I still can’t say what my style is exactly, but I do know that it is a reflection of who I am, a work in progress that adapts to change.
I hope, if you are on this journey of finding yourself or style, you know that it is okay to be a work in progress, to not be okay. Continue to wear the clothes that make you feel confident and like the most authentic you. Remember you are the only one that needs to approve!!
Let me know your style, what inspires you? Where do you get your inspiration from?
Honestly Elise
